5 Secrets to Conducting a Successful Book Signing

I’ll be honest. . .there are many things I enjoy about being author. Besides the gratification that comes with seeing my name in print, there’s the fan letters, the travel, even the occasional moment of local fame. One of the things I do not enjoy, however, that absolutely terrifies me if the truth be told, is book signings (I shudder as I write the words).

You say “book signing”, and I picture solitary authors sitting behind solitary tables, doing their best to be unobtrusive as people shoot pitying glances their way and then scurry off before making eye contact.

Am I right?

Unfortunately, that may sometimes be the case, but it doesn’t have to be, and that’s why I’ve created five simple secrets that YOU can do to insure you have a successful signing.

1. Publicize your signing well. Along with contacting the local media where you will be signing, how about creating a Facebook or Twitter campaign? Post the initial information early, and then send out a reminder just before the date of your signing. Also, add the information to your website or blog and update it frequently (no one wants to see where you were two years ago).

2. Bring freebies! People don’t mind accepting a chocolate kiss taped to a pen embossed with your website and the name of your book. I like to hand out Post-It notes with my book title and website address on them. Also, I keep bookmarks handy and make sure that I’ve autographed them before handing them out. Leftovers stay with the bookstore owner or librarian to hand out after I’ve gone. I bet there are lots of other good ideas out there. What have you seen that works well?

3. Walk don’t sit. If you bring someone with you to man the book table, you become free to roam. I like to visit and chat with other people, so this makes my signing much more personal and less like a sales pitch. In fact, I got to meet two local authors at my last book signing. April Anderson is both an author and speaker with a ministry dedicated to helping young women maintain purity of heart, mind, and body. Sheldon R. Smith works to help others discover the dreamer inside. What do either of these people have to do with selling books? Nothing! But we exchanged information and will hopefully be sharing articles on one another’s blog and that = networking potential.

4. Take time to “pretty up” your space. We all like to shop, right? So quick…tell me the first thing that impresses you about your favorite store? Isn’t it the décor and the way things are displayed? Also, isn’t a variety of wares important? So along with books, what else are you selling? I’ve created mugs that feature my blog design and address. I also offer audio books and large print editions for readers who have difficulty with regular print books. Add a nice plant for esthetic pleasure and some creative spacing on different levels to capture the eye, and voila! The longer people linger…the more likely they are to buy.

5. Don’t let your signing be just about selling books. I like to talk to readers, but it’s more important that I listen. Think of it as speed dating! You are trying to build a relationship in five minutes or less, after all. So ask questions. What do they like to read? Who are their favorite authors? If it’s a multi-author book signing, don’t be afraid to point them to another table that might better fit their interests. Remember, success isn’t only about numbers. Sometimes, it’s just about meeting new people and at the same time, having a little fun.

Elizabeth Ludwig is the award-winning author of No Safe Harbor, Book One in the EDGE OF FREEDOM series. Her work has also been featured on Novel Journey, the Christian Authors Network, and The Christian Pulse. Elizabeth’s debut novel, Where the Truth Lies (coauthored with Janelle Mowery), earned her the IWA Writer of the Year Award. Her first historical novel, Love Finds You in Calico, California, was given four stars from Romantic Times. And her popular literary blog, The Borrowed Book, enjoys a wide readership. Elizabeth is an accomplished speaker and teacher, often attending conferences and seminars where she lectures on editing for fiction writers, crafting effective novel proposals, and conducting successful editor/agent interviews. Along with her husband and two grown children, she makes her home in the great state of Texas. To learn more, visit ElizabethLudwig.com.

Did You Know? ~ Dental Fillings in the 1800s

Bonanza Opening Title Screen

The other night my husband and I were watching Bonanza on the Western Channel. In this particular show, Little Joe was being pursued by an escaped Bad Guy Mental Patient who heard voices in his head and believed himself to be the ultimate hunter.  After he happened upon Joe Cartwright in the middle of nowhere, he decided to play the game, man is the hardest animal to hunt, and I’m going to hunt you, Joe Cartwright. He gave Little Joe a four hour start.

Halfway through the show, the Bad Guy Mental Patient almost caught up with Little Joe. He was close enough to scream vile threats, which he did. The camera zoomed in on him until all we saw was his open mouth—tongue and throat framed by teeth and lips. At this dramatic moment, I should have been worrying about how Little Joe was going to escape. Instead I noticed silver colored-fillings in Bad Guy Mental Patient’s molars. Lots of them.

That’s when my Inner Editor (who has an opinion about everything and suffers from compulsive author editorial internal logorrhea*) sat up and said, “Really? What did dentists fill teeth with in the late 1860s? Would they have looked silver? Is this accurate? Did the producers think about this detail while they zoomed so in close that we could Bad Guy Mental Patient’s tonsils?”

So while the Bad Guy Mental Patient continued to chase Little Joe on the television screen, I began to search for information about dental fillings in the 1800s.

Beginning in the 1820’s, tin was used as a filling material. It was inexpensive to use. Most of the fillings made in the mouths of soldiers during the Civil War were made from tin.

In 1850 Dentists experimented with fillings made from aluminum and asbestos. Lead was abandoned late in the 19^th century because scientists became aware of its harmful effects.

In 1800 gold was first used. Adhesive gold foil was introduced in the mid-1850s, but it was slow to grow in popularity because of lack of dental training and information.

Beginning in the 1850s, dentists began to use amalgam in fillings. Dental amalgam is a mixture of metals, consisting of liquid mercury and a powdered alloy composed of silver, tin, and copper. Amalgam is still used to fill teeth today. I have some in my mouth. (Debate is ongoing about whether or not the minute amounts of mercury in amalgam fillings is harmful.)

So, in conclusion, my Bad Guy Mental Patient could indeed have had a mouth full of silver looking fillings.

And in case you were wondering, yes, all’s well that ends well on Bonanza. Little Joe escaped to be traumatized another day, while the Bad Guy Mental Patient died of heart failure.

*Logorrhea is a real a mental condition characterized by excessive talking (incoherent and compulsive). Compulsive author editorial internal logorrhea is totally my invention.

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due by Author Mary Ellis

As a published author, I am often asked how I got my foot in the door at a mainstream print publisher, or how I obtained my agent, or how I juggled my day-job and still found time to write, or what my schedule is like now that I write full-time. No one ever asks about the one who made all this possible. As Christian writers, we must make sure we give credit where credit is due. I’d like to share my testimony about how God changed my writing life.

I began writing secular historical romances and romantic suspense in the ABA market. I enjoyed my work and was proud of the finished product. But I labored through every phase of these manuscripts--the research, the writing, the rewriting and the editing. Two were published to rather good reviews, but lackluster sales. I hadn’t planned on getting rich, but the amount spent on postcards, bookmarks and advertising in local publications well surpassed my advance. The royalties since paid might buy a nice supper at Applebee’s for hubby and me…as long as we brought extra for the tip.

Around six years ago I committed my life to Christ and from that day on decided to write only inspirational fiction. I read extensively in the market and thoroughly enjoyed Amish fiction. Since I live near the largest Old Order community in the United States it was natural for me to try my hand at it. I dashed off fifty pages, worked up a synopsis covering the whole plot and sent it to my agent. Not one, but two publishers expressed interest. I have recently completed my tenth inspirational romance with a publishing house I love. But this blog posting isn’t about my quick path to fame and fortune, because great wealth and a multi-city book tour hasn’t happened and never will. I’m still a Midwestern housewife happily clipping coupons and perusing store flyers for great deals on laundry detergent. 

This story is about how my life changed when I put the Lord in my books. Every phase of the writing process became easier, with each finished product something I could clutch to my heart with pride. It’s still work—make no mistake about that—but it is labor that I love. I never dread going to my home office and opening my laptop. Every time I seek Him first on a given writing day, my tasks seem to become doable.

I might not grow rich writing inspirational fiction, but I've found something priceless--a way to serve the Lord by putting words on a page. And I can’t imagine a better way to spend however many days the Lord grants me on earth.

My latest release is Love Comes to Paradise, second in the New Beginnings series by Harvest House Publishers. Love Comes to Paradise recently made the Christian Book Distributors best-seller list. First in the series, Living in Harmony, won the 2012 Lime Award for Excellence in Amish Fiction from the Christian Manifesto.

Mary Ellis grew up near the Amish and fell in love with them. She has now written ten bestselling novels set in their communities. When not writing, she enjoys gardening, bicycling, and swimming. Before "retiring" to write full-time, Mary taught school and worked as a sales rep for Hershey Chocolate. She is a member of ACFW, and represented by the Seymour Agency. Her debut Christian book, A Widow's Hope, was a finalist for the 2010 ACFW Carol Awards and the Award of Merit for the Holt Medallion. She can be found on the Internet:

https://www.maryellis.net

blog: www.maryeellis.wordpress.com

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Mary-Ellis/126995058236

May I Borrow From Your Book? ~ The Fairest Beauty

About this Feature: Writing letters to characters and/or authors is nothing new, but here's the twist: these letters will be all about borrowing, in keeping with our blog title. They can be funny or serious, sweet or sassy, short or more in-depth. My hope is that the letters will be entertaining or inspiring to read and will show appreciation to authors - and to the Lord for giving us creativity! (You can click the button and then scroll down to read previously posted letters.)

I'll plan on sharing a letter every other week. If you'd like to submit a letter of your own to be posted here, feel free to e-mail me at amberstokes@corban.edu.

Today's letter is for Sophie, the heroine of The Fairest Beauty by Melanie Dickerson:

Dear Sophie,

I really admire your strong spirit! You endured so much throughout your childhood, from spiteful words to physical cruelty. Yet when your story starts - at the age of seventeen - you are clinging to Scripture, showing humility in times of hardship, embracing the "family" of fellow servants, and refusing to give in to despair or thoughtless actions. 

I would love to borrow some of your bravery and fortitude. Such traits would be wonderful to have at all times, but there is one particular impending event in my life that I would love to have more courage to face: my behind-the-wheel driving test. Don't be alarmed by the foreign words! Driving is how many people travel in the 21st century. It's a much faster and more dangerous mode of travel than horseback. Fortunately for you, you never need worry about it! Although I imagine that if you ever did visit the future, you would have the wherewithal and the pluck to engage in the activity.

The beginning of the next month possibly heralds a new chapter in my life, one where I can be a little more independent and perhaps helpful to my family. The thought is exciting, but frightening in its way. I would appreciate any courage you could impart to me for a time. 

And should I fail, might Lord Gabehart be willing to let me borrow his horse, Gingerbread? 

With Admiration,
Amber

You can purchase The Fairest Beauty now at Amazon.com. (It just released January 22, 2013!)

Did You Know? ~ Possums--For Dinner?

If you’ve ever watched The Beverly Hillbillies, you’ll probably remember that Granny’s preferred dish was possum. Grits and possum were the family favorite. The audience snickered when some poor person was invited to dinner at the Beverly Hillbilly mansion. We all knew he would be served possum.

Granny’s grits and possum made for laughs, but the truth is, possum was a staple in the diets of poor, southeastern families in the 19^th century. Women used opossum fat to help chapped skin. Opossum oil (possum grease) is high in essential fatty acids. It was also used as a chest rub and a carrier for remedies given as topical salves.

William Howard Taft enjoyed eating possum. When he succeeded President Teddy Roosevelt as president, a stuffed toy possum was made with the slogan “Good-by, Teddy Bear. Hello, Billy Possum.”

The live possums I've seen look like gigantic, moth-eaten rats. They’re scavengers that often clean up what other predators, including humans, leave behind.

Playing Possum

The old saying “playing possum” refers to the animal’s ability to lapse into a coma-like state when frightened. This is an unconscious action by the possum, rather like fainting. The coma state can last up to four hours during which time the possum looks dead. It also smells dead due to a foul fluid excreted from its back end.

Possums are the only marsupial in the United States. At first they were only found in the East, but during the depression, they were introduced into the West during the Great Depression, probably as a source of food

So, just in case some nice family member or neighbor pops in to visit with a possum carcass in hand, you'll be prepared. You have some fun facts to share while you're cooking a possum recipe from one of these handy websites.

http://bertc.com/subfive/recipes/possum.htm

http://www.redneckpossum.com/PossumRecipes.htm

Interview with New Staff Writer and Author, Yvonne Anderson

We recently invited Yvonne Anderson, author of the space fantasy series “Gateway to Gannah,” to join our team. She’s been a guest with us before, but beginning in February, she’ll be posting spotlights on various authors every Thursday. 

Today, she’s here to introduce herself by way of a self-interview. I’ll now turn the post over to Yvonne and her guest, Yvonne:

Y’s Q. You write that weird speculative fiction stuff. Don’t you think you’re a little out of place here?

Y’s A. You have a point. I’ve known Sandra Moore and Lisa Ludwig for several years, since the three of us are in the same Penwrights writers’ group. But TBB deals mostly with Christian romance, and I don’t usually fit in that crowd. That’s why it surprised me when they invited me to join them. 

The request came at a crazy time. My eighty-six-year-old mother-in-law broke her shoulder in a fall and needed someone to stay with her 24/7. Although she lives an hour and a half away and has other children nearby, they all work for a living, whereas my husband is retired and I work from home. So for a few weeks, he and I stayed with her Monday through Friday and the other kids took over on weekends.

We couldn’t do that for long, though. The two children my daughter and son-in-law were adopting from the Congo were arriving. So hubby’s oldest sister took a couple weeks’ vacation to stay with Mom while he and I went to Virginia to help with the expanding family, which included three young children before the new ones came along. They arrived, safe and healthy, and made the adjustment with far less difficulty than any of us expected.

But we couldn’t stay there for long, either, because our son’s wedding was a week after the kids’ arrival. Soon after the kids came, we had to head for home. It was a great wedding, we love our new daughter-in-law, and I was high for a couple weeks afterward. Even after going back on Mom duty a few days later.

During all this, my first book (The Story in the Stars) was a Carol Award finalist. With everything else going on, I couldn’t go to the ACFW Conference to see the presentation in person, so I had to listen to the awards banquet online. (I didn’t win. Good thing I didn’t move heaven and earth to get there!)

Also over the course of these events, the nice people at the Speculative Faith blog asked if I’d be willing to join their team. And, I believe the very week that request came in, the ladies here at The Borrowed Book asked me the same thing.

It wasn’t a good time to be making decisions, so I told both I’d pray about it and let them know. I felt all along it was a good fit with Spec Faith. But The Borrowed Book? Really? That’s all romance stuff (Editor: we are NOT!)!

As promised, I prayed about it (among many other things). When my husband urged me to accept both spots and the Lord gave no indication otherwise, I agreed. And here I am. Or, will be, beginning in February. In the meantime, I’ve been working behind the scenes lining up guests for the next few months. It’s fun to meet authors I didn’t know before, and I look forward to getting to know more people and their books.

So am I out of place here? No, I don’t think so. Think of me as a conversation piece that doesn’t just sit on a shelf but also serves a function. Kind of like the squirrel nutcracker of my grandmother’s that I used to keep on my kitchen counter until I let my daughter take it home at Christmas. Yeah. A nutcracker. Squirrely. That’s a good analogy. (Editor: Nope. Just a plain nut!)

Y’s Q. Okay. Well. I’ve only asked one question, and you’ve nearly used up the allotted word count. Is there anything you’d like to add in just a sentence or two?

Y’s A. How about this: I’m honored to be a part of such a lovely blog and want to thank Sandra and Lisa for inviting me. I’ll try to embarrass them as little as possible. Fortunately, they’ve got me posting interviews and author spotlights rather than actually writing anything, so we’ll probably be okay. 

Y’s Wrap-Up. That’ll do. Thank you! Speaking for myself and myself, I look forward to working with the lovely ladies at The Borrowed Book.

Historical Romance Book Review: The Tutor's Daughter

About the Book

"Filled with page-turning suspense, The Tutor’s Daughter takes readers to the windswept Cornwall coast–a place infamous for shipwrecks and superstitions–where danger lurks, faith is tested, and romance awaits.

Emma Smallwood, determined to help her widowed father when his boarding school fails, accompanies him to the cliff-top manor of a baronet and his four sons. But soon after they arrive and begin teaching the two younger boys, mysterious things begin to happen. Who does Emma hear playing the pianoforte at night, only to find the music room empty? And who begins sneaking into her bedchamber, leaving behind strange mementoes?

The baronet’s older sons, Phillip and Henry Weston, wrestle with problems–and secrets–of their own. They both remember the studious Miss Smallwood from their days at her father’s academy. But now one of them finds himself unexpectedly drawn to her…

When suspicious acts escalate, can Emma figure out which brother to blame and which to trust with her heart?"

Amber's Review

Klassen's ability to set the scene with rich historical detail and exquisite descriptions is simply wonderful. The Tutor's Daughter is quite an enjoyable excursion to early 19th-century Cornwall, marked with the mystery the book trailer and synopsis promise. It's a combination of Jane Eyre twists, Northanger Abbey atmosphere, Klassen's sweet romance, and matters of faith.

With the detail that sets Klassen's novels apart, this book is rather long with an unhurried pace. Not all of the twists are overly surprising by the time the characters reveal/understand them, but the suspense still flows well throughout the pages.

Emma is a heroine most of the target audience can probably relate to, with her love of reading and learning. She acts and reacts to things in interesting ways sometimes, and it's a pleasure to see her grow in confidence and open up to love and life. As for the boys, well... Let's just say I like how things turn out in the end!

Some of the morals of the story come across as a bit cliche in how they are presented, but there are some great points to ponder, nonetheless. The Tutor's Daughter contains much to please fans of Julie Klassen and her chosen genre.

*With thanks to the publisher for providing me with a copy of the book in exchange for my honest opinion, to be shared during the Litfuse Publicity blog tour.*

Extras

• My second "May I Borrow From Your Book?" letter was to Emma Smallwood, heroine of this novel. If you missed it, you can read my tongue-in-cheek letter HERE.

• Click HERE to find other reviews of The Tutor's Daughter (for the Litfuse Publicity blog tour).

• Click HERE to purchase the book on Amazon.com. 

• This review was originally published on Seasons of Humility as part of the Litfuse Publicity blog tour. You can find that post HERE if you're interested in reading more about the Litfuse contest, learning more about the author, or watching the book trailer!

Did You Know? ~ Julien Pydras and Dowries

The dowry was a custom brought to the United States by colonists from England and elsewhere in Europe. A dowry is defined as the money, goods or estate that a woman brings to a marriage. 

Dowries were an incentive for a man to marry a woman. They also provided for the woman should something happen to her husband. The ability to provide a dowry often meant the difference between marrying well or not.

Providing dowries for poor women was regarded as a form of charity by the wealthy. In 1824, a man named Julien Pydras bequeathed $30,000 to the parish of West Baton Rouge as a dowry fund for needy women. Each year the fund generated interest, and it still exists today. 

As a young man in 1760, Julien Poydras was taken captive from a French ship and sent to an English prison. He escaped and settled in New Orleans in 1768. At first he was a peddler of cutlery and other household implements. Eventually he became very wealthy, owning plantations all along the Mississippi River. He was quite accomplished—a poet, politician, and philanthropist.

Here’s an excerpt from his will:

The public interest and common welfare always awoke my attention and solicitude, and if I did some good and intend doing some more in presently drawing my last will, this is due to my deep love for my fellow citizens and the country I have adopted as mine.

Poydras died a bachelor. It’s rumored that he left the dowry fund to the West Baton Rouge parish because he was unable to marry Marie, the woman he loved in France. She had no dowry, and his family was well to do. By the time he had earned enough in America to send for her, she had married someone else.

If you want to read more, here’s a link to an article written about Julien Pydras:

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1368&dat=19510218&id=dOgVAAAAIBAJ&sjid=LRAEAAAAIBAJ&pg=5856,885235

Editing Services by Mike Ehret of Writing on the Fine Line

In my career as a writer and editor, I've learned to appreciate both the value of editing and the benefit of great writing.

Here at Writing on the Fine Line, I can help you improve your writing as you stay focused on the goal before you. I offer:

• Proofreading
• Copyediting
• Content editing
• Manuscript evaluation

In addition, I can help you prepare a:

• Contest entry
• A one-sheet
• A book proposal

Have a corporate communication need? I can also help with that. 

Michael Ehret loves to play with words and as editor of the ACFW Journal, he is enjoying his playground. He also plays with words as a freelance editor at WritingOnTheFineLine.com, where he often takes a writer Into The Edit, pulling back the veil on the editing process. He has edited several nonfiction books, played with words as a corporate communicator, and reported for The Indianapolis Star.

www.WritingOnTheFineLine.com


Find out more:
http://writingonthefineline.com/they-really-said-that/from-publishing/ (references)

Contact me: opusmle@gmail.com or editor@acfw.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michael.l.ehret.7?ref=tn_tnmn

Twitter: @WritingFineLine

May I Borrow From Your Book? ~ The Tutor's Daughter

About this Feature: Writing letters to characters and/or authors is nothing new, but here's the twist: these letters will be all about borrowing, in keeping with our blog title. They can be funny or serious, sweet or sassy, short or more in-depth. My hope is that the letters will be entertaining or inspiring to read and will show appreciation to authors - and to the Lord for giving us creativity! (You can click the button and then scroll down to read previously posted letters.)

I'll plan on sharing a letter every other week. If you'd like to submit a letter of your own to be posted here, feel free to e-mail me at amberstokes@corban.edu.

Today's letter is for Emma Smallwood, the heroine of The Tutor's Daughter by Julie Klassen:

Dear Miss Smallwood,

As I write this letter, I am about a quarter of the way through your lovely story. Cornwall sounds like such an interesting place to visit, although I do believe it is the house in which you are residing at this part of the story, rather than the countryside, that holds so much to engage the imagination. 

Regrettably, a trip to Cornwall entails a much farther distance to travel for me than it was for you, and I am not acquainted with the Westons, so I would not presume to ask for an invitation to visit them at Ebbington Manor. Would you perhaps be willing to let me borrow some of the mystery in which you find yourself embroiled? 

I do not wish to imply that my life is dull. But I would not be adverse to a little bit of romance and excitement. You must think me sillier than Lizzie to want such things! I do love my books, as you do yours, but it might be nice to have something or someone interrupt my reading in order to remind me of the thrills and grandeur of life. 

In these long winter months, a little mystery would do nicely, indeed. Of course, I would only want to borrow a very little, as you will need it more than I for your story to be properly told. I am eager to find out more about Ebbington Manor, as well as those four eligible young men living there. I am not yet aware of whether or not the young men are scoundrels, but should one of them be respectable and not attached to you by the end of the story, I might wish to borrow one of them, as well...

Yours Most Sincerely,

Miss Amber Stokes   

You can purchase The Tutor's Daughter now at Amazon.com.

And stay tuned for my review of the book - coming soon!

Winners!!

Happy Saturday, BB fans! Thanks to everyone who participated in our "puzzling" Friday giveaway! Keep all those facebook and Twitter notifications, coming! This week's winner is:
   
Katherine L Vinson (via facebook post) - The Language of Souls by Lena Goldfinch!
 
Congratulations, Katherine!

Thank you all so much for stopping by The Borrowed Book!

Weekly Drawing

It's Fun Friday at The Borrowed Book!

To enter:

Leave the time it took you to complete the puzzle in the comments section as well as your email address for notifying the winner. Winners will be drawn from ALL of the times, so the person with the fastest time may not be the actual winner, but by leaving your time, you double your chances.

Want another entry? Tweet your puzzle time and mention The Borrowed Book, get another entry. RETWEET our Tweet, get two entries!

Post your puzzle time on BB's Facebook wall and...you guessed it...get another entry!

Post it on your OWN Facebook wall and you could get as many as FIVE entries.

It's all a way to spread the word about the great giveaways on BB. So c'mon! Help us spread the word, and have a little fun at the same time. :-)

This week's puzzle feature is brought to you by Lena Goldfinch and her newest E-book release, The Language of Souls.

Video Interview ~ Elizabeth Ludwig

Elizabeth will be signing books at the Kirbyville Public Library on January 28, 2013 from 1:00-5:00. For directions to the library, click here.

50 Nifty...And All The Reason Why...

I was a little disappointed when I decided to research the best selling books of 2012. Not only were there very few inspirational titles on the list, there was very little inspiration, period. What is there to say when one of the top sellers is not only dark, it's almost fifty shades darker (pun intended)? I mean...really? That's what America wants?

The SAT Study Guide, I can understand. After all, people wanna go to college, right? But Bill O'Reilly talking about Killing Kennedy? The guy's been dead a long time. Isn't it time to let him rest? Never mind Killing Lincoln...

And really, who needs one more recipe book. Even the Pioneer Woman has to be getting tired of eating at home.

Then of course, theirs Jobs, Fitzgerald, and Grisham. They should get a life already, and let someone else have a shot at the list. 

Seriously, what does it mean when you get beat out by Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site?

LOL! All right, so I admit, I wrote this tongue-in-cheek...mostly. But before I get myself into real trouble, I should probably just tell you which books made the list...and by process of elimination...which ones didn't (mine). ;-)

1.     Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James

2.     Fifty Shades Darker by E. .L James

3.     Fifty Shades Freed by E. L. James

4.     The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (DIDN’T THEY MAKE THIS INTO A MOVIE??)

5.     Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath

6.     Fifty Shades Trilogy by E. L. James (IN CASE YOU DIDN’T GET THE IDEA FROM THE INDIVIDUAL NOVELS)

7.     Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

8.     Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

9.     The Third Wheel by Jeff Kinney

10.  No Easy Day: The Firsthand Account of the Mission That Killed Osama Bin Laden by Mark Owen, Kevin Maurer (WERE THESE GUYS SEALS? IF NOT, AREN’T THEY WORRIED THEY’LL TICK ONE OF THOSE GUYS OFF??}}

11.  The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

12.  Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

13.  The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan

14.  The Official SAT Study Guide, 2^nd edition by The College Board

15.  A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin

16.  Killing Kennedy by Bill O’Reilly

17.  Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association by American Psychological Association (IS IT JUST ME, OR IS THAT FUNNY!!)

18.  Killing Lincoln by Bill O’Reilly, Martin Dugard

19.  Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand

20.  Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife by Eben Alexander (NOT REALLY…RIGHT??)

21.  The 5 Love Languages: The  Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary D. Chapman

22.  Barefoot Contessa Foolproof: Recipes You Can Trust by Ina Garten

23.  Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman (CAN YOU CHANGE BACK AND FORTH LIKE THAT? IT’S NOT A CHEVY, AFTER ALL!)

24.  The Casual Vacancy by J. K. Rowling (REMEMBER HER??)

25.  The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn

26.  The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (FOR A MINUTE, I THOUGHT IT READ THE POWER OF HOBBIT!)

27.  Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson (UM…THE GUY MADE A GAZILLION DOLLARS AND HE COULDN’T THINK OF CATCHIER TITLE?)

28.  Wheat Belly: Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight, and Find Your Path Back to Health by William Davis (THIS GUY NEEDS TO WORK ON STEVE JOBS’S BOOK)

29.  Oh, the Places You’ll Go! by Dr. Seuss (J)

30.  The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (AGAIN WITH THE HOBBITS…)

31.  The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni

32.  Quiet: The Power of Introverts in World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain (SHE MAY HAVE WRITTEN THIS BOOK FOR ME)

33.  The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

34.  The Racketeer by John Grisham

35.  The Blood Sugar Solution by Mark Hyman

36.  Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site by Sherri Duskey Rinker, Tom Lichtenheld

37.  The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

38.  The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

39.  The Serpent’s Shadow by Rick Riordan

40.  One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp

41.  Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed (OPRAH LIKED THIS ONE)

42.  Winter of the World by Ken Follett

43.  The Pioneer Woman Cooks by Ree Drummond (WE KNOW!)

44.  The LEGO Ideas Book by Daniel Lipkowitz (HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THEY CAN DO WITH LEGOS???)

45.  Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo, Lynn Vincent

46.  Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence (DIAL ONE FOR JESUS, TWO FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT, THREE FOR…)

47.  Eat to Live by Joel Fuhrman (DIDN’T WE ALREADY KNOW THIS?)

48.  Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power by Jon Meacham

49.  Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Others Don’t by Jim Collins

50.  The Amateur by Edward Klein (I SHOULD READ THIS. I MAY FIGURE OUT WHY I DIDN'T MAKE THE LIST!!!)

So? Was your favorite book of 2012 on this list? If not, which one would you include?