Sunday Devotional: Birthing Again

[written while carrying my last baby, nine years ago this past summer ... so much of my life has found expression in the metaphor of birth, even now]

I look down at myself

swollen with child

as I’ve been eight times before …

I am overwhelmed.

Not just gratitude,

but questions, doubts,

can I do this?

Am I strong enough?

What will this labor and birth hold?

This baby seems so huge already …

and I still have over two months to go.

I look at my writing,

swollen with the promise of life,

as it’s been for years now …

I am overwhelmed.

Not just questions and doubts,

but gratitude.

Am I a fit enough vessel for this?

Is my faith strong enough?

In soft whispers you assure me

that when Your time is right

You will bring this “baby” forth

from me, also.

In both –

I may feel crushed, weary, broken …

but what You have planned

is so much greater than I can dream,

and in the process of growing

and drawing it out,

You will make of me

something purer, grander,

closer to Your image,

than I can yet imagine, as well.

¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; ²¹ because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. ²² For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. ²³ Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. ²⁴ For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. (Romans 8, NKJV)