Writing 101: The Editorial Letter--Getting Down to the Details

Let’s dive right in, shall we? First off, let me share with you the very first thing I do when I receive edits from any editor, not just Jamie. I ACCEPT ALL CHANGES. If you’re familiar with Track Changes in Pages (or Word, for those tied to the PC), you know what this does. I do this because I do not consider myself a grammar queen and most of the changes are just that, grammatical. In this I trust editors implicitly. I’d probably trust a gorilla, for that matter, because grammar just isn’t my thing. Got that? After accepting their changes, I am left with all of their comments and questions, and this, I have found, is where I learn my weaknesses. . .

* Calling Carl and Cryer “the doctors” and then having a conversation as if Cryer is a medical doctor instead of a dentist (page 5–9). OK

* Shiny’s last name: is it Portman or Portley (or Portly)? OK

* You have a few favorite words and phrases: pooched, huff, mulish. . . I’m not a huge stickler on duplicate words but when it’s something distinctive like mulish (which I love, btw), I think less is probably better than more. Have a look, see what you think. OK


The “OK” helps me remember what issues I have already addressed. Very helpful when you have a laundry list of small details. I am not listing everything that Jamie gave me, mostly because it gives too much away about the book, but you get the context of the tweaks she is asking me to take care of within the manuscript.

The next section showed problems that were a little more far reaching and generally took longer to address. One of my favorite tools to ease this process is to bring up the Search box in Pages. when I type in a name--we’ll use “William” for this example--every instance in which William is found in the document is listed. I can then go through this list, find and make note of the places where he is interacting with LaTisha, then fix the problem of her addressing him as “boy," a problem Jamie makes note of in the list below. . .

* Why does LaTisha repeatedly call William a boy? He’s forty-six and she’s sixty, which doesn’t seem like that large a gap; I could see it if he were in his twenties … even his early thirties.
* Why does Aiden come in to the diner (for the first time ever), sit down at the counter. . . (can’t copy the entire section because it spoils the plot!)
* There are times when I wonder how that restaurant manages to stay in business, as little staff as they’ve got and as much as those staff have got goin’ on. In the opening scene, LaTisha “fires” Hardy and. . .
* How does the. . .between Carl and Eugene—in which Eugene claims Carl is. . .
* Telling, not showing. You’ll see in the beginning some places I highlighted in grey that are textbook telling statements. Then I quit doing it because I see that to a certain extent, that is LaTisha’s voice. She’s a chatty gal and she tells everything. However, I do think she’s got a sassy, distinctive voice without the telling statements, so when you reread keep your eyes peeled. (And I will, too, next time around.) They’re not everywhere, but sometimes they just kinda jumped out at me.

These latter problems, especially if they involve tweaking the plot, are where I truly rely on Jamie’s eagle eye. These are the huge problems that I know must be addressed and fixed OR ELSE, and this is also where a writer must trust the editor’s professionalism. Plot problems can unravel any book, or at the very least, seriously dent the believability factor of a story.

We've covered the easier issues, next week we'll take a look at the final section of the letter, The Denouement, where Jamie relays to me how she is perceiving the story.

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Book Review: Give the Lady a Ride

About the Book:

"Patricia Talbert is a high-class social coordinator from New York.

Talon Carlson is a rugged bull rider from Texas.

He thinks she’s too polished.

She thinks he’s insane.

Opposites aren’t quick to attract when the lady who enters the cowboy’s world is on a mission to sell the ranch. But a box of letters changes her mission–letters of unshakable faith and a love deeper than anything she’s ever experienced.

Soon she finds his integrity appealing. Her spunk draws him in. He has the faith she craves; she may be the love he longs for. But faith and love aren’t achieved in a single weekend.

To buy time to explore the possibilities between them, she issues a challenge: 'Teach me to ride bulls.'

From here on, they’re in for the ride of their lives."

Amber's Review:

What a fun ride! As sweetly familiar as a carousel ride, along with all the added excitement of riding bulls, this quick read is sure to please Christian fiction fans who love contemporary romance and rodeos.

It all starts with two savvy city gals butting heads with some stubborn (but quite charming) cowboys. The ranch hands' careers are on the line as Patricia Talbert wrestles with a big decision: should she go back to the familiar world in New York helping her senator father, or should she choose to take the adventure of running the Circle Bar--and maybe find true love in the bargain?

With small-town rodeos, a steak cook-off, bull-riding lessons, and tender moments riding horses across the ranch, this book appeals to all those country-folk at heart. And with some great reminders to trust in God and to seek Him and His will, this book also offers some good take-away value along with the fun getaway.

Give the Lady a Ride may be a short novel, but it still gives the reader one enjoyable ride!

*With thanks to the author for providing me with a copy of the book in exchange for my honest opinion.*

About the Author:

"Two-time ACFW Genesis finalist Linda Yezak resides in the state of Texas, where tall tales abound and exaggeration is an art form. Aside from being a member of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW), she also belongs to Women Writing the West (WWW) and The Christian PEN. She lives in the heart of a forest with her husband, three cats, four ducks, and a pond full of fish."

You can find Linda at her blog, 777 Peppermint Place.

Book Trailer:



*Be sure to stop by the BB on Friday for your chance to win a copy of Give the Lady a Ride!*

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Easter Devotional

“Mom, look what Max can do.” My son yelled to me from the living room. “Mom, come see.”

Dropping the apron I’d been wearing while I fixed supper, I walked into the living room to see what he wanted. “What?”

“Watch this.” He pointed at Max, finger extended, hand curled like a pistol. “Bang.”

Max immediately fell to the floor and lay there as if dead, only hopping up when my son told him he could. Laughing, I wiped the tears from eyes and gasped for air. “How did you teach him to do that?”

“I just kept making him lay down until he got it.”

We laughed so hard, it stirred Max to a frenzy. He ran around the room barking, as if to say how proud he was of his cleverness.

Later, I thought about Max’s little trick. With Easter only two days away, I couldn’t help but remember how skeptics accused Jesus of playing dead.

“He was not truly resurrected,” critics said, “only resuscitated.”

Now, I’m no Hollywood actress, but I’ve done my bit on stage, and even I realize how difficult it would be for someone to play dead for not one day, but three! And in front of the entire Roman army, no less—men well acquainted with death and all of it’s indications. Could it be that people who refuse to believe in the reality of the miracle of Jesus’ resurrection do so because their own sinfulness makes it impossible for them to accept such a selfless act of love?

Luke 24:1-12 (New International Version, ©2010)

Jesus Has Risen

1 On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. 2 They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, 3 but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. 5 In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? 6 He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 7 ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” 8 Then they remembered his words.

9 When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others. 10 It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them who told this to the apostles. 11 But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense. 12 Peter, however, got up and ran to the tomb. Bending over, he saw the strips of linen lying by themselves, and he went away, wondering to himself what had happened.

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Winners!!

It's always so much fun to give away great books!! Congratulations to this week's lucky winners:

Kari Linder - Love Finds You in Prince Edward Island by Susan Page Davis

Carla Gade - Patchwork Dreams by Laura Hilton

Winners of this week's books, please use the button in the upper right side of this page to email me with your mailing address so I can forward your information to the authors. Then, sit back and wait for your book to arrive.

Thank you all so much for stopping by The Borrowed Book and thank you, Susan Page Davis and Laura Hilton for your generosity in providing books!

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Weekly Drawing

Entering our weekly drawing is easy:

1. Leave a comment on Fridays or...

2. Sign up to follow The Borrowed Book. Followers will automatically be entered for a chance to win that week's drawing! This week, The Borrowed Book is giving away:

Love Finds You in Prince Edward Island by Susan Page Davis ~ In the summer of 1860, Prince Edward Island's inhabitants eagerly await their first visit from a British royal. Molly Orland is too poor to be invited to the ball in honor of the young Prince of Wales, but she is pleased to serve as a maid in the house where he will be a guest. There she meets Peter Stark, under-steward for the royal party. Peter is attracted to the beauty of the island and to Molly, whom he's determined to shield from the antics of the playboy prince. When they discover a long-buried secret that could bring shame to Peter's royal employer, will he remain a loyal servant or help Molly's family get the justice they deserve?

Patchwork Dreams by Laura Hilton ~ Ever since returning from her rumspringa pregnant and unwed, Becky Troyer has been a pariah in her Amish community in Missouri. Even after the young mother confesses her sin and rejoins the church, her peers continue to shun her, and she despairs the unlikelihood of marrying for love. It seems that her only hope is to eventually marry a widower with a family of his own.

Becky's world changes when Jacob Miller arrives at her family's farm with the understanding that he will help with chores during the summer and then return to Pennsylvania. What Jacob does not know is that his father, who disapproves of Jacob's sweetheart, Susie, sent him away as part of a plan to introduce new blood into the Amish community of Seymour. In addition to his work around the farm, Jacob undertakes the task of cheering up the lovely yet listless Becky, inviting her to various youth gatherings and offering her the only unconditional friendship she's known.

As their relationship grows, the two find themselves inexplicably drawn to each other. Will Becky and Jacob overcome their insecurities and self–doubts so that their love can grow, or will Jacob keep his pledge to Susie and turn his back on Becky, as so many others have done?

Winners will be announced on Saturday, 04/09/11.

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Writing Opportunity from Love Inspired Historical

Do you want to be a Love Inspired Historical author? If you answered yes to that question, here’s a great opportunity for you to get your story in front of Tina James, senior editor at Love Inspired. She has announced that she is seeking captivating historical romances about Christian characters who are facing the challenges of life and love in a variety of historical time periods. The exciting thing about this opportunity is that Tina will choose five manuscripts to be pitched to her in person via live Chat on the eHarlequin website.

If you have a story that fits the Love Inspired Historical guidelines, send a log line (the hook: grab the attention of the editor) and a one-page synopsis of your manuscript to Hosty Ray by May 5th. Those chosen to be pitched will be announced no later than May 10th. Pitches will happen May 12th, at 11AM EDST.

However, there are some rules you must follow if your manuscript is to be accepted:

• You MUST be able to enter and post inside eHarlequin.com chat room. If you are unable to use the chat room and your submission is chosen, no other venue will be available to you to pitch your manuscript.

• NO ATTACHEMENTS. Entries must be in the body of your email. Failure to do so will result in immediate disqualification.

• You MUST have a completed manuscript that is targeted to Steeple Hill Love Inspired Historical. Read the writing guidelines below. Editors have the option to request partials or fulls.

• You MUST be available at the given chat time.

• Please include your member name, your full name along with your submission.

For more information, go to the following links:

FAQ about Editor Pitch

Love Inspired Historical Writing Guidelines

If you have a manuscript that fits the guidelines, then what are you waiting for? Get your log line and synopsis sent in. You might be the next Love Inspired Historical author! I'll certainly be rooting for you.

In the meantime, check out the Love Inspired Historical April Releases--The Lawman Claims His Bride by Renee Ryan, At the Captain's Command by Louise Gouge, The Sheriff's Sweetheart by Laurie Kingery, and Yukon Wedding by Allie Pleiter.

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Author Interview ~ Susan Page Davis

Susan Page Davis is the author of more than 30 novels in the historical romance, mystery, romantic suspense, and romance genres. Her latest electronic book, Mailbox Mayhem, includes a story originally published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine and a companion story. A Maine native, Susan lives in western Kentucky with her editor husband Jim and the two youngest of their six children. Visit Susan at her Website: www.susanpagedavis.com.

Did you see yourself becoming a writer as a child? If not, what did you dream of being?
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It was a dream, but I didn’t see it as a realistic possibility until I was much older. I also dreamed of running a hotel and owning a horse ranch.

How long did you write before you sold your first book?

My first novel was published the year I turned 50. I’d been seriously writing fiction for about five years at that time.

Many of the people who follow our blog are aspiring writers themselves. Can you share your favorite writing tip with them?

My standard admonitions are to read extensively and write something every day. But I’m also seeing the increasing importance of networking. Join a writers’ group, whether a local group that actually meets or an online group like American Christian Fiction Writers (www.acfw.com) . The benefits of both types are huge.

Now for the readers…many times, it’s easy for them to connect with the characters in a book, but not so much the authors themselves. Share something about your day-to-day life that might help a reader to feel as though they know you a little better.

I usually get up about 6 every morning and see our kids off to school. They are high schoolers, and our son drives them each day. Once they’re off, I start working on my current project. We recently moved from Maine to Kentucky, and it’s been quite an adjustment. Weather is just one thing of many, but I will just say we were used to heavy snowstorms. Down here people don’t know how to deal with snow or drive on it. But they take their tornado warnings very seriously. That was unnerving the first few times, but we’re getting used to it. I think.

Now that you are published, do you still experience rejections? If so, how are these rejections different or similar to the ones you received before becoming published?

Oh, of course I do! I might think I have the greatest idea since instant pudding, and editors listen and shake their heads. “Not something we’re looking for.” That happens sometimes when I meet with editors at conferences. Other times, my agent submits proposals for me. If it’s an editor I’ve worked with before, he might run a capsulized idea past her. If the editor says no, he gets to take the rejection and then softens it for me. Sometimes he’ll tell me something like, “Hey, Susan, this publisher isn’t interested in that idea, but they really want … (something else)…right now.” I love it when I hear what the editor wants. Sometimes that’s the hardest thing for an author—trying to figure out what the editor wants. Of course, there are times when my agent calls me with great news: “Hey, Susan, the editor LOVES your idea. Can you work up a full proposal in the next couple of weeks?” I guess the biggest change from my early writing days is that I no longer get those rejection letters in my mailbox.

Tell us a little about your latest release:

Love Finds You in Prince Edward Island is set in 1860, when the Prince of Wales visited Canada and the United States. Here’s the gist of the story:

Prince Edward Island pulls out all the stops to prepare for the visit of Prince Albert Edward (Queen Victoria’s son, later King Edward VII) in 1860. Molly Orland, a farmer’s daughter, is hired as a housemaid at the governor’s mansion, where the prince and his entourage will stay. Peter Stark is sent ahead of the royal party to ensure the arrangements are in order. Though Peter and Molly are attracted to each other, there seems to be no future for them, since Peter must soon leave with his master, the Earl of Washburn, and Molly will lose her job if discovered to be engaging in a flirtation with one of the visitors. However, Molly’s family harbors a secret that connects her family to Washburn’s. Can she and Peter overcome the past and set right a 60-year-old wrong?

If you could only share one line from Love Finds You in Prince Edward Island, which one would you choose and why?

I like it when the man who once pursued Molly says to her in a rather snooty way, “I hardly expected to see you here tonight.”

Molly replies, “Perhaps you should raise your expectations.”

I like that because I personally am not clever and quick with a comeback. I’m so glad my characters don’t have to plod along like me!

Readers often talk a lot about the hero and heroine of a story, but today I’d like to know something about your villain. Does he or she have a redeeming quality? Why or why not?

This story is unusual in that there isn’t one major villain. However, there are several people who make Molly and Peter’s life difficult. The Prince of Wales stands out, and yes, he had many redeeming qualities. Unfortunately he was a bit of a rascal, too. Some readers might also see the Earl of Washburn (Peter’s employer) as a bit of a villain at first. He of all people has reasons for acting the way he does. Then there’s the housekeeper, whom Molly dreads. She’s a very good housekeeper, but nowadays we’d say she ought to work on interpersonal relationships a bit more.

What kind of research did you have to do for this book? Can you share some articles or website links you found particularly helpful?

I went to PEI for a week and visited as many historic sites as I could. I also spent time at the archives in Charlottetown, and at Province House (known as “the Colonial Building” in my story’s day). It was a wonderful experience, and I loved seeing some of the actual rooms the prince saw in 1860 and reading newspaper accounts about his visit. I also used many Websites and books. One very helpful volume has the daunting title of Royal Spectacle: The 1860 Visit of the Prince of Wales to Canada and the United States.

Tell us what new projects you’re working on.

I’ve just finished writing Captive Trail, which is a new venture with a new publisher. Moody Publishing has contracted a six-book series, Texas Trails, written by me and two of my favorite authors, Vickie McDonough and Darlene Franklin. The books all feature members of the (fictional) Morgan family, in different decades. Darlene’s Lone Star Trail will release first, then my Captive Trail in September, followed by Vickie’s The Long Trail Home. Next spring you’ll see Darlene’s A Ranger’s Trail, my Cowgirl Trail, and Vickie’s End of the Trail.

Now I’m working on Lady Anne’s Quest, the second book in my Prairie Dreams series from Barbour. The first book is The Lady’s Maid, releasing in October. In that story, an English lady and her maid go to America to find the lady’s uncle, who doesn’t know he’s now the Earl of Stoneford. The trouble is, Uncle David disappeared into the West. Lady Anne and Elise decide to join a wagon train to Oregon, hoping to find him there.

The most common thing I hear when people learned I’ve published a book is, “I’ve always wanted to do that.” Faced with this statement, what advice would you give to someone just starting out in this business?

Study the writing craft. Writing is work. Become a better writer, and learn what publishers are buying now. You may have a fantastic idea, but if nobody wants it right now, it will be a hard sell.

What is the one question you were afraid I would ask…and how would you answer?

Oh, Lisa! I’m not afraid of anything.
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Susan is giving away a copy of her book, Love Finds You in Prince Edward Island. Be sure to stop by The Borrowed Book on Friday for your chance to win!

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