Whose Plans Are Better?

by Sarah Sundin

Sarah Sundin and daughter, Anna

I had excellent plans for my children. I read to them from birth. We watched educational TV and videos. Their computer time was spent on clever learning games rather than shooting aliens. Our vacation time often included museums and historical sites. I volunteered in their classrooms and was actively involved in their schooling while refusing to be a “helicopter mom.”

Perfect recipe to send our children to excellent universities! We did everything right!

Except our daughter didn’t follow the path we laid out. She didn’t earn the grades she was capable of. We argued far too often, and one day she snapped at me: “At least I’m not pregnant, on drugs, or in jail!” True, and we were thankful. But why couldn’t she see we knew what was best for her?

She ended up at our local community college, determined to transfer. I was nervous. I’d heard too many stories about students unable to get their required courses, languishing, and dropping out. I wanted so much more for my girl!

But then God slapped me. And aren’t you glad so you don’t have to slap me yourself?

God always slaps in love. This time He slapped me twice within an hour, once from each side.

First, I was talking daughter problems with a friend. Her daughter had earned the grades and degrees…but wasn’t walking with the Lord. My friend’s anguish was palpable and put my concern in stunning perspective. My daughter was walking with the Lord, and isn’t that what matters most for eternity?

Yes, it is.

Chagrined, I began conversing with another lady about the same issue. With the most serene smile, she asked, “Sarah, whose plans are better? Yours, or the Lord’s?”

Oh.

I knew the answer to that question. God’s plans are always best. I’d already learned that lesson in my own life. But in my children’s lives? That’s different.

Oh no, it isn’t.

The Lord began a serious work in my heart that day. A work of trusting in His goodness and His care and His love, even when things don’t happen as we want them to. A work of humility, sloughing off my nasty pride and the bitter fruit it had produced. A work of relinquishing control I never had in the first place. A work of loving my daughter as God does and trusting her to make wise decisions. A work of resting in His sovereignty.

He showed me the truth He spoke in Isaiah 55:9-10: “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” In His sweet mercy, the Lord quickly showed me how much better His plans were than mine.

First, my daughter began working for a friend of mine and discovered a love for business, a perfect melding of her numerical sense and her people skills. Now she’s on track to transfer into an excellent business program. If she’d gone away to college, she never would have taken that job, and she would have wasted time—very expensive time—choosing her major. Score one for God!

Second, the extra time at home allowed my daughter and I to repair our relationship. As I relaxed and trusted her, and she gained maturity, we became close. I wouldn’t trade our deep talks for anything in the world. Score two for God!

Third, she found the love of her life. Her first semester she took a class with her big brother’s close friend—a young man who’d adored her since fourth grade, a young man she’d rejected countless times. Working together closely, she saw the depth of his character and found a match for her wit. She tumbled into love, and this July they were married. Game, set, match—to the Lord!

Whose plans were better for my daughter’s life? God’s! Absolutely God’s! And I’m left in awe of His sovereign goodness, His patience, and His mercy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sarah Sundin is the author of seven historical novels, including Through Waters Deep (Revell, August 2015). Her novella “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” in Where Treetops Glisten is a 2015 Carol Award finalist. A mother of three, Sarah lives in California, works on-call as a hospital pharmacist, and teaches Sunday school. Connect with Sarah here:

Website:  http://www.sarahsundin.com

Blog: http://www.sarahsundin.com/blog

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SarahSundinAuthor

Twitter: http://twitter.com/sarahsundin

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/sarahsundin

Revell, 2015

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Author James R. Callan Talks About Life's Challenges

One of the greatest challenges in life is raising kids.  You walk the fine line between trying to make everything right for them and letting them find their own way.  When they are young, you want to protect them from everything.  Yet, you want them to learn how to take care of themselves.

While I was at the University of Oklahoma, our two older children started to school.  By their second year, they were walking to school by themselves.  It was only a few blocks in a nice university town.  They liked the independence and we fretted.  But it got easier on us as the months went on.

One day, shortly after they left and I was about to leave for campus, the phone rang.    I was giving a seminar on information value theory. Probably a student asking about an assignment.  I answered the call.

“They have taken your son to the hospital. We do not know the extent of the injuries.  Your daughter is not hurt.”

Crushing news first stops all rational thought and makes you unable to move. Then you are propelled into a frenzy of activity.  Minutes later we enter the hospital at full speed, only to be brought to a standstill by the steady, slow pace of the admitting personnel.  Eventually we are allowed to talk to the doctors.  They are calm, grave, reserved. It isn’t their child. Our son has suffered a severe concussion but they believe it is “not serious.”   To us, severe and not serious don’t seem to go together. They will keep him in the hospital for a day or two for observation.  For us, that seems to eliminate the “not serious” part of the description.

We are allowed to see our son. He is sleeping. I think.  Or maybe he’s in a coma. I can’t tell.  I choose to believe he is sleeping.

I stay the night in an uncomfortable chair.  He sleeps.  I do not.

But early in the morning, he wakes up.  He doesn’t know where he is and I tell him he in the hospital. 

“Why am I in the hospital?”

I explain that a car hit him.  “The driver was turning and the morning sun blinded him and he didn’t see you.”

He is satisfied with that and seems to ease back into sleep. 

An hour later, he wakes and asks, “Why am I in the hospital?”

I explain about the accident and he nods.

For the next twenty-four hours, this same scene is played out a half-dozen times.  Each time, I am getting more concerned.

On the third day, the doctors tell me we might as well take him home.  He needs rest and he can get that at home as well as in the hospital.  I ask about his continual questions about why he is in the hospital. They are unconcerned.  Short term memory, they assure me, will return.  When? I ask.  When it returns, they answer.

At home, he eats very little - small amounts of Jello, a little milk, little else.  This is from a boy who is generally a big eater.  After his second day at home, I finally get to campus and give the seminar that had been scheduled five days earlier.  It is not a great presentation.

That night, I am sitting in the living room and in walks my son.  It is the first time he had been up without being coaxed out of bed.  “I’m hungry,” he says.  I get a small bowl of pudding and bring it in.  “No. I’m really hungry.  Can I have a hamburger and some potato chips?”

Wow. I am eager to fix him a meal.  After he finished, he asks for his books.  “I need to do my homework. I’m going to school tomorrow.” 

He is fine. And a few days later, so am I.

That was in my days as a mathematician. Now that son is a college professor and I write mystery and suspense books.  The second in my Father Frank mysteries, Over My Dead Body, will be out in May. The first, Cleansed by Fire, is available as a paperback, a Kindle edition, an e-pub, and an audio book, narrated by five-time Emmy Award Winner Jonathan Mumm.  You can find more at:  http://amzn.to/1fqgWee.

After a successful career in mathematics and computer science, receiving grants from the National Science Foundation and NASA, and being listed in Who’s Who in Computer Science and Two Thousand Notable Americans, James R. Callan turned to his first love—writing.  He wrote a monthly column for a national magazine for two years. He has had four non-fiction books published.  He now concentrates on his favorite genre, mystery/suspense, with his sixth book releasing in 2014.

www.jamesrcallan.com/blog

Amazon Author Page:    http://amzn.to/1eeykvG

His new release, Over My Dead Body, is available for pre-orders at:   http://amzn.to/1BmYQ0Q

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